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Where do I begin? A book, that would probably challenge the bible, is what I could probably write to explain all the things that went super wrong in this movie. It’s been a long time since I’ve submitted anything. I’ve optioned to chill out and spend days doing nothing effectively. But, in one way, I thank this movie. It was like a near death experience that made me wake the heck up and finally write another critique to capture this horrible encounter which was spending money to see this picture.

Now that I have the positive criticism out of the way, its time to start with the negatives. First off, Luke Wilson. Darn him. The guy is in one of the best comedic positions you can ask for. His ex-girlfriend is a super heroine who uses her superpowers to steal and launch his car into space (among other things), and the most this guy can do is make strange faces. Not once does he lose his mind in a fit of anger that would make any audience explode or, even, start to cry in his extreme misfortune, which would get anyone laughing, because, let’s face it, we all love laughing at others’ sorrows. He just remains that same static, annoying character that you could point out any day on the street. He doesn’t exaggerate what so ever and comedy is all about exaggeration, especially if you haven’t been given any funny lines. But, alas, I do not fully blame Luke, for he, like a mouse, took the only substantial crumb Hollywood would supply to fuel his weak talent. I mostly blame the casting director, the real villain, who obviously had evil plans to sabotage this potentially good movie when he/she choose Luke to actually say more than one line.

In most comedic movies, you have that third wheel. You know, the character that doesn’t have one single serious bone in his/her body. Their sole purpose is just to make you crack up. I wonder who it was in this movie. If the consequence for not fulfilling your comedic obligations was to have a “chainsaw shoved up the ass”, then Eddie Izzard would be more than bent over. In the movie, he plays Luke’s character’s best friend or whatever. To sum it all up, he did the unthinkable, he actually made Luke look good those few minutes he was on.

Thirdly, was Don Payne (the writer) drunk with ignorance when he thought that people would actually laugh at his horrible effortless jokes. I mean most of the dialogue was burdened with little one liners and punch lines that seemed generated for dimwits or people with a lame sense of humor. Once again, I have to blame the casting director. On those rare and truly spectacular occasions that Payne actually generated one the could potential make you titter, the actors chosen, didn’t deliver, rendering the dialogue useless.

Man, I could go on and on describing this monumental piece of crap, however, by that time, this movie would be hundreds of years old. So, I’ll finish my sandwich with more positives. Uma. Thank you for making this movie not an entire waste of my time. Seriously, she was all this movie had going for it. Too bad, this movie required more than one person with talent, because if it didn’t, it’ll have a definite A.

The third, and the last, positive were all those funny scenes where G Girl (Uma saving the movie once again) releases hell on Luke, her ex-boyfriend. Also, the scene at the end, when Hannah, the up to then unremarkable girl, engages with G Girl in an action packed catfight that seems somehow poorly motivated (come on they’re fighting over Luke!).

If you have to spend your own money or have to make accommodations, like walking into the theatre, do not see this movie. It will be a waste of your time and energy and Luke Wilson will ultimately piss you off. Yes, there are some funny scenes, but they’re too few and too far between. Take it from me, either what till it airs on TNT or be content with the previews, because, basically, that’s the best there is.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 at 8:34 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.